My Broken Body: Life with PCOS

{This post is written in honor of PCOS Awareness Month}

So I have this thing called PCOS. . .a condition or syndrome or whatever you'd like to call it. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Sounds horrible, doesn't it? It sorta is. As it's name would indicate, I do have multiple cysts on my ovaries (or is it in my ovaries, I've never understood which it was) but they are not the kind that grow big or rupture or anything painful like that. Honestly, I've never felt any pain as a result of my friends the ovarian cysts.

PCOS is, in essence, a diagnosis given if you have a collection of symptoms. For me those symptoms are: irregular cycles (and with that, lack of ovulation), acne (hello high school) and weight gain around the belly area (awesome). The bottom line is - my 'plumbing' (or 'operating system' for those of you that prefer a modern analogy) doesn't work. PCOS involves hormone imbalance and insulin resistance but once again, I'll spare you my vain attempt to address something medical. If you are interested in finding out more information on PCOS, check out this great article from Conceive Magazine. If you suspect you may have PCOS, I encourage you to talk with your doctor.

When I heard that September is PCOS awareness month I thought long and hard about doing a post about it. But for days I couldn't come up with anything interesting on the subject. Even though about 5-10% of women (age 20-40) suffer from PCOS, I couldn't see how many of you would be interested in the topic. And then I felt alone. Broken. As if my body was the only one out of sync. And then I thought about how everyone probably feels this way at one time or another about one thing or another in their life so maybe I'm not alone.

There are things I can do to help manage my PCOS. One of them is eat healthier (low carb) which I admit I struggle with (I'm Italian, we love our pasta and bread!). The other thing I can do is take birth control pills. Of course since I am currently TTC (trying to conceive) I am skipping the pill which is why my face looks like a pizza right now (please don't stare if you see me around). Lastly, exercise is a big help in managing PCOS and I am happy to say I have been working out more regularly lately.

At the end of the day I am still broken. I often ask God to heal me and then I wonder if he doesn't because I've not yet committed to eating healthy. But deep down I don't believe God's miracles are contingent upon our perfection. If they were, we would not see them. . .ever. We do need to do our part in the process though, making the right choices and being diligent. As my struggle to conceive continues, I am working harder at doing just that. So that my body would be restored and life would come - in more ways than one.

Are you broken? Physically or mentally, are you worn down from a battle? Whatever you face, know that as you seek God for wisdom in doing your part, he will come with his love and his grace to restore you to life.

I will believe that for you and for me.