Part 1:The Call

My adoption journey began on January 21, 2004.

My life up until that point had pretty much been about me. Focused and driven, I had conquered college and medical school. Ob/GYN residency was hard, but I had given it my all and was doing well. I loved my career choice and knew I was following God’s calling for my life. As I went through training, our desire to have a child grew stronger, so in my 3rd year I got pregnant. We had always wanted kids in a kind of vague way, not really sure what to expect.

Then on January 21, 2004 Ryan was born and my life has never been the same. Holding my son for the first time was truly an amazing experience. In those moments, I realized that this little guy had suddenly become the center of my world and my heart.


Over the next few weeks, I felt depths of emotion that I had never felt. Joy that seemed almost palpable. Even during the sleepless nights, I knew one thing for sure: I couldn’t wait to do this again. I would make mental notes of parenting techniques that worked that I could use “next time.” I carefully saved every item of clothing, in overly organized bins for use with the next child.

The first year of Ryan’s life was a challenging year for me, I had to work a lot, and it broke my heart to be away from him so much. But even now as I write this, I begin to cry as I think of all the special moments of that first year: first smile, first giggles and all the grandparent visits.

When Ryan was 18 months we moved to Tennessee where I began private practice. While my schedule was still busy, it was nothing compared to the rigors of my residency. I was finally able to spend more time with my son and be closer to family. Life was good. After awhile, we began to think about #2.

On Christmas day 2006, I opened an e-mail. It was a test result that essentially told us that having additional biological children was not an option for us. I heard Sally Fields voice in my head from Steele Magnolias, “It’s not that she ‘couldn’t’ have a baby, but that she ‘shouldn’t”. While I hadn’t “loved” pregnancy like some women do, I didn’t have a terrible pregnancy either. Despite my discomfort, I still work 90 hours a week, right up until delivery (including 12 hours the actual day I delivered). While the morning sickness did stink, I loved the bonding of feeling my baby wiggle inside me.

There was time of mourning in my heart as I realized that pregnancy would not be an option for us, but then something awesome happened in my heart. The desire to be pregnant was completely lifted and the desire to adopt a baby was overwhelming. As Russ and I prayed, we felt strongly that we were supposed to adopt domestically. So I went out and bought a zillion books and called every adoption agency in our area.

I remember being so excited and peaceful about our decision. As we began to research the process, I really felt like God was saying that our adoption would be “an example.” Great! I thought. It will be an example of how smoothly things can go, and how we can disprove all the adoption myths.